Family or foe how could you ever know
when you love too deeply and trust too hard it’s easy to be in a hurry to find the best in people.
Crushed in spirit and soul in distress what are you to do.
Born in blood ha...
Means nothing to the worst of stones that walk around like people
Angry they throw their fists around to break more stone, just to find themselves eroding away at every blow.
Self-pity and resentment sets in.
You, an empty husk of a person desperate to move on
Obsessing, what if, what if, what if...
One that claws at love but when cracked open there's only mirrors past.
All you see is a little girl, the youngest of three...the childhood she never had, growing up too fast, no support, a free for all with her siblings even when reached out too. every "help me" was thrown away, a pest, a nobody worth helping, leaving her to take care of only herself whether she live or die, and she will live like this for the rest of her life. Never trusting anyone. Like seeing a group of scavengers begging for mother and father to drop and inkling of love and genuine interest, but only venom and harsh words were ever given.
Searching for some sort of fulfillment, trying to scavenge love anywhere that could be rustled up, even out of the most garbage of people.
Abusive love is all that was ever known, which is never love, just selfishness, confusion and trickery. Just a young sprout-ling, desperate for someone to care, heartlessly bruised, beaten and raped. But yet somehow it’s all her fault. Everything is all her fault.
People never change. Rigid bitterness at the ones who hurt you. Never moving or bending. You find yourself face to face with the ones made of stone, what do you do?
Will you just be more stone?
And even though life continues, that little girl ,all grown up now, just goes through the motions, too terrified to speak up, to share an opinion, to say no, to find interest in daily living, making love becomes increasingly difficult as she becomes even more terrified of doing something wrong. Her subconscious numbs her world.
Wishing and wishing she could recover. Wishing she could feel and love as deeply as she used to. To feel genuine happiness and excitement.